Random thoughts on the word “appropriate”…

What is it I have against this word? It is just an unassuming arrangement of letters, meant to cause no grief. And yet, grief it causes. Why? I think it is ultra-dangerous because the definition of the word is that the word will be defined by the one speaking it.

If one says, “Gnomey, it is not appropriate to go to the store in your pajamas,” they are defining appropriate as “ladylike and composed.” If I define appropriate as “suited to my mood,” then some plaid flannel pants are exactly appropriate.

If one says, “Gnomey, it would not be appropriate to make love to your partner in his parent’s house,” they are defining appropriate as “concerning yourself with the supposed, imagined feelings of others and comporting yourself accordingly.” If I define appropriate as “fitting for the moment,” then by golly, it sure is!

If one says, “Gnomey, I just want to make sure you are handling things in the appropriate manner,” they are defining appropriate as “the way I would do it.” Right? Am I right?

Strange, then, that another definition of “appropriate” is to “give or assign” and, even more forcefully, “to seize” (with the emphasis on a different syllable, of course). A person appropriates the word appropriate when they decide to lay it on someone else. I know, I know. It is my standard rebellion without a cause, I suppose. And, this reaction is also due the fact that I received this third comment today at work.

In the end, like many words, appropriate is relativistic. Who is to say what is fitting? Even in the physical world of clothing, we disagree about what constitutes a good fit—my mother used to claim my pants were far to low. As a wordsmith, I am intricately interested in the use of words and also (that rebellion thingy again) in how to misuse them to my own ends. Where is the interest in a language that is always printed in black and white?

To that end, enjoy Lewis Carroll and his thoughts on being appropriate in public:

Be what you would seem to be—or, if you'd like it put more simply, never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise.

On a side note, check out the link Google gave me when I typed in the vague search term "inappropriate." This, of course, was a mild version of those results!