The Mating Habits of Undersea Creatures...

I hate being angry and I usually try to avoid it as I would a lawsuit or some sort of wasting disease. You can often hear me say that anger is an emotion wasted on those you truly dislike. If you honestly loathe the person, why waste so much emotional energy on their behalf. Indifference is the opposite of love, not hate and not anger. What about, then, when you feel anger towards someone you love?

There’s the rub, huh? Here is where I continue to have an anger issue, it seems. I am a giver by nature and my hand has been bitten by the mouth I fed (with gourmet, vegetable-rich goodies) in the past. So, I let small things whiz by me, things that are no big deal but perhaps deserved a small comment. I finally build up enough of these small events that I burst out in anger and, to the object of that anger, it may seem I am completely over-reacting to a teensy, tiny slight. Plus, my anger is so strong that a simple sorry just won’t cut it—especially if the main issue was my overly giving nature. I whip away the giving hand and a little sorry and some puppy dog eyes are supposed to make me want to begin dishing out the lovin’ again?

Okay, okay. So we have butted our heads against this wall in the past. And I am no psycho (for the most part), over-reacting to everything. I think it comes down to basic styles of communication and intimacy. I wear my heart on my sleeve and try to live each day as if it could be the last time you see the one you love. I don’t want to be one of those movie stereotypes who scrawl a teary note to their loved ones as they slowly die, trapped under something heavy, or who relates their love to a stranger as they slowly bleed to death, saying, “The last words we said were in anger. I never got to say how much I…. (cough) how much I… (cough) loved….” And then they die.

Not everyone relates their love in the same manner I do and so, every once in a while, I get angry. And considering the above philosophy, that anger angers me even more. What if that’s it, what if that is the final interaction you have? Other people, however, have other ways of showing affection. Let’s just say that, while we are all undersea creatures.....

some of us are squid (basting device designed to spread marinade, turkey juice and other liquids, keeping foods moist and tender)

and some of us are squid (technologically advanced power cords to fit all of your various tech toys at the same time).

And while some sparks are an exciting part of a relationship, it becomes obvious that it is going to take some effort from both squids in order to save each other from electrocution. And like being crushed by something heavy or bleeding to death in the arms of a stranger, without the ones I love knowing how I truly feel, that too would be a pretty shitty way to go.