My Sales Education...

Once you become accustomed to the language of sales--and it is a language in the same way that skateboarders or computer programs have created their own dialects--certain things become obvious. One, every point that a salesman wants to drive home must be followed by a story. This is usually a colloquial tale involving farmers or laborers, animals of various kinds or sporting competitions. For instance, selling is similar to planting seeds or building a foundation. Or, imagine yourself as a frog on a log who... Or, the difference between a winning and losing jockey is the ability to pick the right horse.

Then there are those little tag line sentences that resound in the average sales target's head (come on, you know that echoes are more prevalent in empty caverns and so does a good salesman) and here are a few of my favorites:

• People want to follow someone that is going somewhere.
• If you can make a dozen cookies, you can make a thousand.
• There are no bad ship captains in calm waters.
• If you know 100 percent of everything and I do 100 percent of everything, I win.
• I can’t make a nickel until I help you make a dime.
• If you want what you’ve never had, you have to be willing to do what you’ve never done and that means learning what you’ve never learned.
• If you throw dirt, you lose ground.

OOO. Deep. Like a farmer and a frog caught down in a well, a deep dark well, where they illustrate the idea of dedication and perseverance in an accessible and unintimidating manner. OOO. Pepper in a few key phrases about "paradigm shifts" and "bringing it down" and set sail to sell refrigerators to the eskimos. You know, I bet that nowadays the eskimos do have refrigerators. And tanning machines. And weight loss products. And CutCo knives and...