Candy Canes and Corporate Love

The holidays are ever-present for each and everybody this time of year. I must say, however, that we who work in the schools feel it more than the general population. Back me up here, fellow teachers and child care workers! Christmas is all about the kids. Santa wouldn’t be any fun for just us grown-ups—we have other things to lie to each other about and not usually in the name of wholesome, good-hearted hoodwinking. See, with the kids, I have to think about making their parents presents, decorating the classroom, holiday-themed artwork, music, etc and all with a very PC and multicultural way. There is definitely no holy in our holidays at school.

Given my school is attended my underprivileged children and minorities, this time of year also means a lot of special visits. I am beginning to think that all these corporations are there for photo ops and tax write offs more than anything. That some executive assistant ran her finger down a list of organizations and said, “This is where we shall spread our corporate cheer this year!” But that’s rather cynical of me. These groups do put in a lot of effort to make a good holiday for all of our kids.

For example, earlier this week Santa Claus came to town and it was quite an affair. The secretary that planned that one had been working on it for months. There was a goodie bag for each kid (brown paper, dolled up with glue to look like a reindeer) with cookies, candy, and supplies to make a foam, snow man picture frame—stickers and such. Then, each kid got a photo with the big guy, printed out ultra fast to put in their new frame. To top it off, every kid and I mean every single kid got a wrapped present of about $20 value. Age-appropriate, cool and hip toys. Toys they really want! Plus, I guess we are supposed to get at least two more gift drops this year, making each kid’s total loot three presents and about $60 bucks. Not half bad.

Take half bad and times it by two, however (that’s all bad, for us math challenged people), is the effect of candy canes, cookies, presents in plain sight…. You can see where I am going here. Chaos. Hyperactivity. And one problem child in particular giving me a big old “F*** You!” Now I know why that first person slipped some alcohol into the eggnog.

Off the subject quiz: Brandy or Bourbon is your eggnog this year?