Yesterday in the Bathroom...

Me: (getting ready for a Christmas party, tweezing my brows and curling my lashes [things that only happen in proximity to a Christmas party, a wedding, or a blind date])
Boyfriend: Holy shit!
Me: What?
Boyfriend: That hot, curly thing just hurt me!
Me: You mean the curling iron?
BF: It's a curling beast.
M: I always thought it looked like a little dog. The handle there is the snout and when you open it you can say "Woof. Growl."
BF: Your dog bit me. It should have room of it's own. With it's own door. And fire proof. Yes.
M: Well, then we would need a three bedroom apartment. Hmmm?
BF: Or you could just not curl your hair.
M: Hmmm. Even a gnome needs sassy hair. Three bedroom.