Here Comes the Bride...

Now I don't know where some of the Bachlorette Party rituals stem from--the rampant penises of all sizes, the truth or dare games. The drinking and the strippers I get but I wonder who first thought to make penis ballons, straws, breath mints, shot glasses (ok, again, I get that one), glow-in-the-dark antennas glued upon a headband, lipstick (I kid you not!) and all the other good goodies you can all see for yourself at your local porn shop. Bring your wallet--penises are severly over-priced.

Obviously, I cannot share the majority of those photos with you. No, no. Really. It's for your own good. Instead, I will simply point out two things:

1. Why does such poor taste (See exhibit A) proceed the most tasteful event of your life? It is as the bride and groom must unleash their juvenile, lustful, drunken, silly selves before the big day so they can keep a straight face while in their black and white finery. Rather silly in itself.

EXHIBIT A:

It's not as if all your friends and family will think you are going to stop being juvenile when no one is looking or that (God forbid!) you will stop lusting after one another. We know you will still watch Family Guy in your pajamas, drink cheap beer and slap each other's butts. That's what love is all about. But we must preserve the solemnity that is marriage and so--woo hoo! Party down and bring on the genitalia.

2. Congrats Jen and Steve. I have known Jen since the first grade and am pleased as punch to see her happy. I am even more excited to see a bride dressed in red! Hope you enjoyed your strip lessons, naughty cake and serenade. Oh, and the headache the next day. Sorry about that one.