A Graphic Mistake...

The purpose of a garage sale is to sell items you don’t want or need anymore in exchange for money to buy the things to you do want or need. A materialistic endeavor when I describe it like that so let me try it another way. A garage sale is a way of getting rid of useless shit, freeing up space in your life and filling up space in your wallet with money that you didn’t have before. Yay for useless shit that makes me cash!

If you haven’t guessed, we had a garage sale. Actually, my father had a garage sale at his home (because we are unable to at our apartment) and The Boyfriend and I brought up our stuff to sell jointly with his. A bedroom set, some Christmas redundancy, hopelessly out of date VHS tapes and the like. And a few televisions. One of which I haven’t used in three years. Pay attention, this is where it gets interesting.

I had to work the 1^st day of the sale on Friday and so my loving family sold my stuff for me in my absence. In order to demonstrate that my old television worked—my tiny college TV with the built-in VCR—my uncle pressed play and accidently played a tape that way accidently left inside for the last 3-4 years. That is the way in which my loving family—along with a few strangers—saw some very graphic loving on that very tiny screen along with the standard moaning and bowmp-chicka-bowmp-bowmp music. In other words, there were naked people doind some unwholesome things on the tape in my VCR.

Yes, I showed my family my forgotten adult video--not that I am necessarily the one who left it there. I don’t think I will ever live this one down but not in the way you think. On the contrary, I think my family is happily impressed that little, ole Gnomey is not quite as vanilla and boring as they all thought. My children and children's children will hear about this for years to come. The Boyfriend, on the other hand, is a bit freaked that my collection of graphic videos outnumbers his—me having one and him having never, ever come near one of those tapes willingly in his life.

Sorry dear. Did I mention that I haven’t used that TV in 3 or 4 years? That is may not have been and most likely wasn't me who viewed and left the tape there? Did I ever tell you that “You da man, man”? If not, baby, you da man and I threw the tape away—without hesitation or remorse.