Birthday Present Gone Terribly Wrong...

I special-ordered some tea for The Boyfriend's birthday a few days ago. I made sure to get his favorite--Imperial Tea Room from Taylors of Harrogate--from an online shop called the English Tea Store. Very cute shop. And, an excellent tea. Three thumbs up. For that tea, I have an extra hand.

My mistake was picking out a new brand of tea as sort of a grab bag surprise. I figured if the Imperial was so good, nothing the company made could be that bad, right? Uh, wrong. The Lapsang Souchong tea was labelled a "Pan-Fired Tea." Sounded interesting and strong, like I like my tea (and men!). Upon drinking said tea, however, I found that if the label was going for truth in advertising, it should have read "Bacon-Fired Tea."

Yes, it smelled and tasted like smoked pork products. Very strong pork products. Not appetizing to many first thing in the morning but definitely not to me. Me, who has a standard rant about bacon not being a condiment and how Americans slather bacon on anything edible.

Goodbye Lapsang Souchong. And Mr. Tea Maker? Prepare yourself to be thoroughly scrubbed lest the faintest trace of bacon tea remain.

Eww.