Corny through it is...

What does it mean that The Boyfriend eats his corn vertically, beginning at the left, chowing down on an entire column before shifting to the right? Personally, I devour mine horizontally, like a typewriter, left to right and down, left to right and down. Does this mean that we are not meant to be? I mean, "they" say many things. A couple with religious differences is less likely to last. Republicans who marry Democrats have rockier unions. Vegetarians and carnivores. The penny pincher and the spend thrift. The sports fanatic and the knitter. These opposites are supposed to stay together for a signifcantly smaller period of time. Does the corn issue really matter? Do our cob habits speak to the statistical success of our relationship? I call for research on the matter, damn it.

No. It wasn't the right brain vs. left brain aspect of our relationship that brings this up. It is not the cozily cluttered vs. antiseptically clean argument. It wasn't even the 401k-where-are-we-in-5-years- fiscally-responsible-saving vs. money-sucks discussion. It definitely wasn't that we are opposite handed--me right and him left--so we can't sit on certain sides of each other at restaurants. It was the corn, I tell you. The corn.