In My Ears...

Is about where my shoulders are at this point. My tension level is through the roof and I feel sorry for The Boyfriend for having to live with me through this trying period. I am honestly counting down the hours until I can check the mailbox again. I think about going to bed early because then the next day will be here quicker and I can check the mailbox again. I check the mailbox when I get off work at 4:30 and (if empty) again after the gym at 6:30. Today, as the mailbox was empty on both attempts, I considered going back for a third round at 8:30 but, good news for my self-respect, I held back. Somebody please let all this waiting be over and let me know if, where, and when I will be going to grad school so I can move on with the rest of my life and refrain from shrugging my shoulders every few minutes in an attempt to loosen the permanent, Boy-Scout-tight knots.

On the upside, The Boyfriend and I leave for Hungary in exactly two weeks from today. I cannot wait. I am sure that it is going to feel like the honeymoon after planning the wedding. All that stress and planning gone (hopefully) and only vacation ahead. I've already scheduled a haircut and some new pants are in the mail. I'm too poor for a pedicure but will give one to myself. Not that it will be seen. Open toed shoes are only okay in areas like Phoenix this time of year. Bye bye toes. Hello blisters from all the walking along cobblestone streets and the shuffling through train stations. I cannot wait to greet you again.

Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans. I use that quote often and I do believe it. Those are the times when you work out who you are in everyday conversation and actions. But some moments put everything on hold. Some moments are so... momentous, so life-defining, that maybe life itself does get put on hold in anticipation. With elevator music and stress. Sure doesn't feel like life. That sounds like (one of) my definition(s) of hell.