And They Say "It's in the Mail..."

Today marks the third day that my mail box has been empty. Uno, dos, tres = three! No junk mail, no bank statements, no advertisements for real estate, catalogs, postcards from admirers, no anything. It makes me wonder whether the mailman has even been to our complex or not. I mean, who actually checks up on such things? Maybe he is some horrid Newman of a mailman whose creedo is "Either laziness, ineptitude, or general sloth shall prevent the mail from making its rounds."I was actually tempted to sit in wait for any other tennant to come round the mail boxes--the typical thin metal variety, segmented into cubes with flimsy, difficult to turn locks--to see if anyone else received anything. That way at least I would know that he had been here and not that the gods do not want me to ever know where I will or will not be moving to in six months. Maybe they are trying to spare me all those grad school's rejection notices. I will cry out to them now, NO! Spare me nothing, oh deities. I crave knowledge, I eat the apple willingly even if childbirth will be painful for all future generations and we can no longer walk around naked (outside of our own homes). Give me the 4-1-1. Or maybe my happy news, my acceptance letter, was lost somewhere in the post and there will only be 24 hours to respond to keep my spot and some other loser will snatch it up and spend 2 amazing years studying and win a Pulitzer prize with his first novel. NO! He deserves to toil on in obscurity! Not I! Please, Oh Mr. Mailman or you gods or whoever has any control over this lack of postal information... do not return to sender. Address is not unknown. There is such a sender. There is such a zone. (Sorry Elvis)

Photo Credit to madameshutterfly.