Impossibilities

Just thought I would clear up a few more of the rules in Kate World, where the laws of the gravity are slightly different and violation of the rules results in crankiness, violent pillow throwing, and, hmmm, not much really.

1. A kitchen that is cooked in will always have a sticky floor. A kitchen that is never cooked in is the home of french fried couch potatoes. But uncooked in kitchens, well, those are the lochness monsters of Kate World--they don't exist.
   
2. Ironing boards come alive when out of sight. Their awkward legs love to pop out of corners and behind doors to shwap unsuspecting televisions or pieces of furniture. We must learn to cope with the sneaky ninja beast or have wrinkled clothing.
   
3. Water is not messy. Water is clean. Water is the substance we use to dissolve and wipe away non-water-based messes. If water is spilt somewhere, it will dry.
4. Blankets are necessary for their weight and comfort. Not for their warming value.
5. All disagreements shall be settled by a friendly, cutthroat game of Dr. Mario.
6. No one shall beat the great and all mighty Kate at Dr. Mario. She is penicillian! She is Tamiflu!
7. All disagreements shall be settled in favor of the great and all mighty Kate.
8. There is as of yet no vaccine for the epidemic of forgetfulness sweeping this world. The only treatment is constant yet respectful reminders, unconditional love and tenderness heaped upon the disease's victims, and the misappropriation of blame.
   
9. Hair dying and nail painting are allowed in any room of the house.
10. All vehiclar transport devices must be named.

Enjoy your voyage today in Kate Land. Management is not responsible for damage to life or limb. This ride is unsuitable for those at risk for heart attack or stroke, pregnant women, children under 5, or those unable to receive massive kindness or mindless cuddling.