Is there anybody out there?

God bless the internet! Yessiree. I have embraced the online universe with all my heart and empty, anonymous soul. I already partake of the electronic cornucopia in so many areas of my life—online banking (www.compass.com), online pharmacy refills (www.walgreens.com), online bill pay (www.paypal.com), online long distance calling (www.skype.com), online lingerie shopping (http://www.experiencewonderyou.co.uk), etc. Even the online dating thing worked out for me very well (Hi, Brooke!). And now I am deeply enmeshed in the world of The Internet Job Search.
Gone are the days of "hitting the pavement" to find a job. No more wrist-cramping applications. No more, lord forbid!, face-to-face communication. Say goodbye to that pretty resume paper of hefty thickness and colorful grains. Nope. Now it's just .DOC resumes posted with formulaic cover letters, sent into the vast, faceless emptiness of the blessed internet. Oh bless.
I have lost count of the number of jobs I have applied to in this fashion. I suppose I could dig into my email records and count--looking for sent items with attachments and subject lines like: J7X6025VVS1XQZ9Y3G7_cbga_tap~gatap003^ILKG application or Product Description Writer Position: Ref.4174165. And I try to be interesting and I try to tailor the resume and letter to the job's specific requirements but even I can see why responses are non-forthcoming. Everyone looks so similar! There is no opportunity to make eye contact or have a concrete conversation. The process is streamlined to dates of employment and job descriptions without any human dimension. And I have such nice human dimensions! Well, I’d like to think. But maybe I’d like to think that because my strengths are in my personality and education, not characteristics blatantly visible on a .DOC resume.
I know I can succeed at the positions I am applying for. I hope my resume brings that across. And who knows? Maybe my internet job search will yield a perfect job, with interesting duties, that pays extremely well, with no commute of which I would be proud to say, “Yes. I am the new J7X6025VVS1XQZ9Y3G7!” and hand out my business card at cocktail parties.

Monday, Oct 24, 2005 - 10:05am (PDT)