Shoo Fee, Don't Bother Me...

The blog—the online community of kindred spirits, the free and easy transmission of news or information, and a handy soap box to whine, moan, and complain. And everyone has to listen, or at least we pretend they are listening, which makes it all the more cathartic.

So here’s mine and it’s not a new one. I’m sure it’s happen to a lot of people out there (except for the entirely glued together boyfriend, who keeps every receipt for seven full years in a locked file box and updates his Quicken nightly). I had an NSF fee. Y’all know what that little acronym stands for—it stands for the $36 dollars that the evil capitalist fat cats over at the house of greed they call a bank deduct from my account because I happened to not have enough to cover a transaction. Yup. They make up money, they invent non-existent money, in order to take from a more-than-empty pot. They reached their hand into the honey jar and started digging with their fingernails at the clay bottom. Makes you want to deposit a punch or two. Or drag their disemboweled intestines through the ATM withdrawl slot. Yes, I would like a receipt with that.

And, for a transaction that was covered by a deposit made the same day, but, oh too bad, later in the same day. So it takes them 24 hours to get their crap in enough order to credit or debit my account, for it to show up either through telephone or internet banking. They get a whole 24 hours to push their pencils around. But my few, slim, little dieting hours—sorry, too late. It even took them three days to take the NSF fee out! By then the balance was back in the triple digits and the fee made no sense at all. Three days because the fee doesn’t accrue until the business day after the action that caused the fee and there was a weekend in there somewhere.

If I had a back yard, I think I’d seal it all in a mason jar and bury it and be done with the whole shebang. Knowing me, I’d forget where it was but, hey, that will just make it forced savings now huh? Follow the treasure map to the retirement fund! Or, if only the money in my mattress would accrue interest. Serta-ficates of Deposit (SD's) and Z-Bills (Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz) could be in my portfolio.

Ok. I’m done with my ranting now. Stupid pigs. Stupid freaking clowns that have had me simmering on the surface all day. Stupid bank. Ok. Now I’m done.